Lost and Loving It

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my weekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something summiting the mountain of life.

Today: Lost and Loving It - Enjoying Detours

Last week, my girlfriend and I set out on a hike to find a hidden hot spring. According to a couple google reviews, the natural spring should have been a leisurely 15-minute stroll from the carpark… Spoiler alert: it wasn’t (at least not for us).

We started down what looked like the right path, but it quickly turned into a bushwhacking nightmare that ended with a cliffhanger – literally. I was all for abseiling down, but my girlfriend, the voice of reason, talked me out of it 🙄. Undeterred, we backtracked a good kilometre and tried another route, only to be greeted by another cliff.

Finally, we said stuff it. Looking at the photos, it had to be along the river somewhere. So, we ditched the path and started rock hopping. Now hours later, we were ready to throw in the towel just as we saw something - a plume of steam rising from the riverside. Booyah! We found it - the coolest little hot spring in the middle of nowhere:

Except… it was BOILING. No matter how much I tried to ‘stay hard’ (in the Goggins sense), I could not stay in that water for more than a half a second. Just enough to get a cool pic:

So, what am I getting at? Well, this hike reminded me of the importance of embracing and enjoying detours in life. The best part of this hike, in my opinion at least, was trying to figure out the puzzle that was the map. And my second favourite part, was rock hopping down the river. We even stumbled upon the ruins of an old bridge. All things that wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t get lost in the first place. I don’t think I would remember the adventure nearly as fondly if it were as easy as we anticipated. Or at least I wouldn’t have felt like I earned the celebratory beers as much afterwards.

But hey it can get a lot deeper. Like getting lost in your career 🤥. For some, even those only six months into their career 😆, it can be pretty daunting going down the rabbit hole of ‘I don’t know what to do with my life’ (referencing my quarter-life crisis here). The last thing you are thinking about is enjoying the journey. But this is the most important part because it is not all about the destination!

And that is basically the logic behind my actions, to stop working and travel for a while (✨find myself✨). If I am lost and trying to figure it, I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself, I am going to take advantage of the only perk of unemployment - FREEDOM - and get out there. I understand not everyone can just up and leave, but I think it’s important to remember that no matter where you are in your journey, you can always try to find ways to enjoy it - even if you’re not at the destination yet. And if you’re stuck on how to enjoy it, think about the other side of the coin :).

Because remember happiness ≠ reaching the destination. Sure, you might be happy when you smash your goals but how often do you actually hit major milestones? A few times a year? Where’s the fun in pinning your happiness on that - wouldn’t you rather find some happiness every day?

∴ Learning to enjoying the journey → more happiness (this is naive and only a small aspect of happiness I know, but hey the math is mathin’).

Final piece of advice to myself and anyone else who gets impatient with the journey (too focussed on the destination):

• Don't rush: Slow it down. This doesn’t mean take it easy though. Keep hustling and stay hungry, just remember to practice gratitude and appreciate where you are and how far you’ve come.  

Appendix (A couple more random examples that popped to mind):

1. Vanning to destinations in NZ:

It’s so easy to focus on reaching each landmark, waterfall, or photo spot that you don’t even appreciate firstly, where you are, and secondly, the destination itself. It’s similar to the nature of goal setting, when you have so many places you want to see/things you want to do, you almost feel like you hike to the cool waterfall, look at it for two minutes, tick it off the list ✅, and jet off to the next destination. I love this TIUP video about it.

Don’t let the next goal/destination cloud the enjoyment of reaching where you are.

2. Lost in Venice

A message from a friend of mine (shoutout Cara!):

“Basically, I was doing a solo stint in Venice and had just trained in to see the city. Once I got there, I lost all 4G and I’m pretty geographically challenged as it is. I was frustrated that I didn’t know where I was going but I just decided f*ck it, do I really need to know where I’m going??!? I ended up throwing my AirPods in and waddled through the winding streets of Venice. I stumbled across sights I never even knew were there. I genuinely lost all track of time and ended up walking around majority of the city without even knowing it (and if you have been to Venice that place is a maze fr!). Not all who wonder are lost right 😏🤌🏼. I really enjoyed myself and I would recommend putting the maps away to anyone and follow where your pulled to🤭. It did take me double the time to return home but I simply wouldn’t change it🙊😃. Going off the beaten track, letting yourself get lost, you find interesting things about yourself.”

3. My 10-hour layover in Wellington

Background: I picked a funny flight path so that I could optimise my AMEX travel voucher (see my Qantas Points articles for further info on my credit card churning). So, yes, I had a 10 hour wait in Wellington. Quite the detour 🙄. But I have to practice what I preach so I found some ways to enjoy it. Luckily, I had a Qantas lounge pass up my sleeve, so best believe I had more than my fair share of the buffet and drinks.

I also wrote this when I was sitting in the lounge: I am sitting in the Qantas lounge right now, drinking 'free' wine and eating 'free' food yet I just caught myself feeling down about not knowing what I want to do in the next few years. But then I was like hold tf up, look down at the glass in your hand, this is f*cking cool. You worked hard towards your Qantas Points, so get out of your head and enjoy where you are right now. Stop worrying about the 'next thing' all the time and live in the present for a minute.  

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