Flip The Coin

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my biweekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something year old summiting the mountain of life.

Today: Why I love my two-hour commute to work

Every week I catch the train from the Gold Coast to Brisbane. For two hours, I sit or stand cramped between hundreds of people grumbling their way to work also.  I catch funky smells, get jolted around, and listen to the serene screeching of the train along the tracks. And I love it. 

No, not the smells, but the two hours of ME TIME. Sure, I can't quite say it is uninterrupted but once I have my air pods in, I am good to go.  If I have a seat, I'll pull out my laptop or book, and if I'm standing, I'll put on my favourite poddy. It is by no means perfect, I would much rather be sitting by the beach, but it's not too bad if you ask me.  I mean, how often are we able to get two hours completely to ourselves? I tend to fill up my days so much I hardly ever get hours of me time (that is a problem in itself I know). 

I could look at it the other way, two hours of time I will never get back, looking out the window longing to be anywhere but there – but why would I? I'm already on the train, there is no going back now, so I may as well make the most of it.  I can either end the commute frustrated and angry at the world or refreshed and content with my me time. 

As Ryan Holiday puts it in his book, The Obstacle Is The Way, this is the art of 'turning adversity to advantage'. Each day, we all face some adversity. Whether your car breaks down on the way to work, you drop and smash your phone, or you have an argument with your partner. In every case, we all have the opportunity to let it ruin us, or to flip the coin: 

1. Your car breaks down: 

   • Phew, you have a good excuse to miss that meeting you were dreading. 

   • Also, a good excuse to go to a nearby coffee shop and steal 30 minutes to yourself while waiting for assistance. 

2. You smash your phone:

   • Although I wasn't planning on it today, I get to buy a new phone! 

   • You are able to learn the importance of having an emergency fund for situations like these.  This learning will save you many headaches down the track. 

3. You have an argument with your partner: 

   • Great opportunity to work on your communication and conflict resolution skills. 

   • Also, a great opportunity for self-reflection, what could you have done differently? 

It is not easy to see in every case, but I believe there is ALWAYS another side to the coin.  Ryan Holiday explains the concept brilliantly, but I also have to give some credit to my grandma. Growing up, my grandma had a poem that hung on her toilet door.  So, every time I found myself using her bathroom I would read the 'silly poem': 

The Other Side Of The Coin:

I am thankful: 

• For my teenager who is not doing dishes but is watching TV, because that means he is at home and not on the streets. 

• For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed. 

• For the mess to clean up after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends. 

• For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means that I have enough to eat. 

• For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine. 

• For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means that I have a home. 

• For all the complaining about the government because it means we have freedom of speech. 

• For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation. 

• For my huge heating bill, because it means that I am warm. 

• For the lady behind me in church he sings off key because it means I can hear. 

• For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear. 

• For wearing and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard. 

• For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive. 

• And finally, for too much email because it means I have friends who are thinking of me. 

Most of them don't directly apply to me and I like to make fun of some points, like friends sending emails... clearly this was written a while ago. But the principle has stuck with me.  Maybe it is because I have been looking at is since I learnt to read but I think the principle is profound and when applied, can have positive and impactful results on us all. 

Next time you find yourself frustrated at a situation, ask yourself, is there another side to this coin?  Is there anything you can do to improve the situation? Or grow from it? 

Finally, as some inspo, I thought I would compile a quick list of examples from my life recently where I have tried to apply this principle: 

1. My long commute to work:  

   • As I explained, I use this time for reading, working, or listening to podcasts. 

2. Falling in love with a girl who lives on the other side of the world. 

   • Although it is a huge challenge with lots of sacrifice, I think it is pretty epic that I now get to spend lots of time in another country that I love.  

3. Not seeing my family as much since moving out. 

   • Means that when we do see each other, we treasure it and prioritise spending quality time together. 

4. Being locked into a gym membership contract nowhere near where I live - this one really annoys me: 

   • Being too stubborn to hold two gym memberships at once, I saw this as an opportunity to pivot and give other forms of exercise a try, specifically running and calisthenics. I have found that I now enjoy these more anyway! 

5. Having very little idea of where I want to go with my life: 

   • A little perspective shift, and this has become the most exciting puzzle I have faced to date.  I have the opportunity to explore different avenues and find something that I enjoy. 

6. Not enjoying my first full-time job: 

   • Provided me with the opportunity to grow exponentially through self-reflection and change the trajectory of my career for the better. 

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