Life's Short

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my weekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something year old summiting the mountain of life.

Today: Life’s Short - Don’t Forget It

You are 18.  Just graduated high school.  You and your best mate Josh are pulling up to what everyone is saying will be the best house party of the year.  Someone’s parents are out of town and hundreds of people have been invited to the lake house, vibes are HIGH.  

Beer pong, flip cup, music blaring and the dance floor pumping - in nothing short of a mansion. You and Josh grab a couple beers and decide to join a few girls in the hot tub.  Josh is a charismatic ladies’ man, so of course it doesn’t take long for him to have a girl under his arm.  

"Let's jump in the lake," suggests one of the ladies. 

"No way," you murmur to yourself. "There's about a 10-meter cliff surrounding that thing." 

But Josh isn't one to shy away from a challenge, especially after a few beers. So, with a few of the girls in tow, he heads to the cliff edge while you follow the others inside to grab a drink. 

As you pour yourself another, you hear a piercing scream.  People carry on all the time when drinking, but this is different. This is serious.  Rushing to the cliff edge, you hear cries for help. Others have jumped in to try and help, but by the time you get there, it is too late.  

Three hours later, after scouring the lake, search and rescue recover a limp, lifeless Josh.  They say that the mix of alcohol and dehydration caused his legs to cramp on impact with the water.  Slowly drowning, he screamed for help for several minutes, but in the dark, no one could help him in time. 

This tragic true story, told by Mark Manson in his book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’, serves as a confronting reminder of life's fragility. 

As I read the story, I thought of my friends, my 'Josh'. We all know someone like Josh - full of life, seemingly invincible. I can hardly imagine such tragedy, what would I do? How would I react? What regrets would I have?  What if it happened to me? 

I had never taken the time to pause and really think about these questions. As a society, I feel like we forget that in the blink of an eye, tragedy can strike; and that we chose only to confront the reality of mortality when forced to. It's a sobering realisation, that seems to lurk in the shadows of our consciousness, conveniently ignored. 

I hope, like me, you have been fortunate enough not to experience such a tragedy firsthand.  However, I think it is important to realise that one day we will.  Everyone will.  So, we should prepare ourselves and learn from others who have been less fortunate, like Mark. 

In his book, he goes on to share that after battling a deep depression, he experienced a significant perspective shift.  I encourage you to read the chapter yourself (chapter nine), but I will share my two favourite excerpts: 

• 'In the face of the inevitability of death, there is no reason to ever give into one’s fear or embarrassment or shame, since it is all just a bunch of nothing anyway' 

• 'It was someone else's death that gave me permission to finally live'  

After reading his chapter, especially those excerpts, I spent lots of time reflecting and researching and wanted to share my findings and thoughts: 

Don’t waste time in situations/locations/relationships that don't add value to your life.  

• This could look different for everyone - the convenient relationship that really isn’t adding value, the job that doesn’t make you tick, the city that doesn't inspire you.  I’m not saying that you should run from challenges but just reflect on your current situation and make the changes you always think about, that you dream of. And don't sit around waiting for the right time. Just take action.  Start the business.  Tell someone how you feel.  Buy the ticket.    

• In 'The Daily Stoic', Ryan Holiday writes: "Marcus Aurelius often pointed out that Alexander the Great was buried in the same dirt as his mule driver.  Eventually all of us will pass away and be forgotten.  We should enjoy this brief time we have on earth – not to be enslaved to emotions that make us miserable and dissatisfied" (February 25^th, Daily Stoic).  

• Benjamin Franklin wisely said "many young men die at age 25, but are not buried until they're 75".  Which man do you want to be? 

Admire the mundane.  

• Based on Marcus Aurelius' suggestion to "pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature", Ryan Holiday writes that we should "see the world like a poet and an artist".  I believe these stoics remind us to appreciate the smaller things in life, to shift our paradigms to see the beauty in the world.  Like the artist who sees beauty in the leaves falling from the trees, or the unique pattern of the leaf itself.  If nothing else, "isn't that far better than seeing the world as a some dark place"(January 18^th, Daily Stoic). 

Enjoy your average Tuesday: 

• Tim Ferris suggests that your life is made up of a series of ordinary Tuesdays. Figure out what your ideal normal Tuesday looks like. Because if you can have an amazing Tuesday, you’ll probably have an amazing life. 

• Everyday really is a blessing and not guaranteed, so we should all work hard to win every Tuesday.   

Appreciate and make the most of your health: 

• In his book, 'The 5am Club" Robin Sharma shares that "good health is a crown on the head of a well person that only a sick person can see". 

• He also writes, "when we are young, we sacrifice our health for wealth and when we grow old and wise we realize what's most important—and become willing to sacrifice all our wealth for even one day of good health". 

• I think it is important that we reflect on both of these quotes and come to realise that we are never going to be younger and may not have the same health that we have today.  Run. Jump. Play. Move. Just really appreciate the fact that you can, because one day you won't be able to. 

Don’t wait for a real tragedy to shift your perspective. 

• It saddens me to think that most people do not think about these things until after they have lost someone.  Wouldn't you rather shift your perspective now and live to fullest with your loved ones before one of them passes? 

Further questions/answers I asked myself: 

• How do I have the audacity to waste this time that I have in a healthy, strong and youthful body, doing things that I don't enjoy?  

  • I don't.  This is part of the reason I left the great job that I didn't enjoy (I explain this more in my article, The Quarter-Life Crisis). 

  • It is also why I decided to run more, surf more, and prioritise active time in nature. 

• How would I treat today if it was my last?  

  • I would tell the people I love that I love them more.  

  • Reminds me to NEVER end on a bad note with someone I care about, to mend bridges.  

Moral of the story: 

Stop thinking you have all the time in the world, because you really don’t.  Cherish the moments you do have right now, mend broken bridges, and tell the "Joshes" in your life just how much they mean to you. 

Further thoughts:

On a personal note, my grandfather has been very ill recently. This article, and death itself, has been at the forefront of my mind the last few months.  I am doing my best to cherish the time I have left with him. So, I want to ask you to do something.  Call a loved one, like a grandparent, and go visit them, or take them out for dinner. Just do something, while you still can.  

Recommend further readings on the topic: 

• Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom 

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson 

• The Daily Stoic – Ryan Holiday 

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_{As always, if you have any feedback, you can respond to this email! I’d love to hear what you think :)}