Being Wrong

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my weekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something year old summiting the mountain of life.

Today: Being Wrong

'When Theodore Roosevelt was in the White House, he confessed that if he could be right 75 percent of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectation. . . If that was the highest rating that one of the most distinguished men of the twentieth century could hope to obtain, what about you and me?' - Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People)

When you argue with your friends, family or partner, how often do you think you are right? More than 50% of the time? You probably think so, but they probably do too... so who is really wrong or right?

I'll give you an example. When I was 14 years old, I ran cross country, and therefore knew everything about running. On the other hand, my mum had never run more than a few kilometres in her life and therefore knew nothing about running. So, when I started to train a lot, putting in near 75km weeks, we began having arguments:

Mum: "Gabe, you are running too much. That is too much load for a teenage growing body."

Me: "Mum, you've never run a day in your life, you have no idea what you are talking about. Coach (who was 19 years old at the time) said its fine."

Fast forward three months,

Me: "My foot is really starting to hurt on my runs."

Doctor: "You have stress fracture from over training. Moon boot for 8 weeks."

It is safe to say my running career never really recovered after that. Mum was nice about it at the time, but now it is a blunt I told you so! Although she was technically right, mum really did not know much about running or training at all, but that wasn’t the problem. I was. I didn’t know anything about properly training and loading, but I was convinced I did. And because I thought I knew it all, I never researched or consulted any professionals, I just ran myself into the ground.

It is a simple example, but what it illustrates to me is the importance of being aware that you probably don’t know it all. And that sometimes it really doesn’t matter who is wrong or right, it just matters that you are open to being wrong, or at least not knowing it all. Because if you are arrogant, ignorant and believe you are always right, you will never learn or grow until you are in moon boot of your own.

I could give countless examples of arguments with my parents, where I was 1000% convinced that I was right, and was 1000% wrong. Yes, arguments like these tend to occur predominantly through adolescence, where children and teens are blinded with naivety; but I would argue that it doesn’t stop there. We are all wrong all the time, every day. We just don't know it yet.

Let’s find some examples from your life. Think back a little. What did you think about family, friends, health, your career, or even girls five years ago. Or two years ago? What about today, right now? Any differences? Personally, this is what I found:

Family

• 5 Years ago:

  • My mum and dad were some of the most irritating people in my life getting in the way of 90% of my plans. Why did they always make us hangout as a family on Sunday!?

  • I was always right; my parents were always wrong.

• 2 Years ago:

  • Mum and dad aren't so annoying anymore, although they still want to know where I am and what I am doing ALL THE TIME. I also seemed to have finally escaped Sunday family time.

  • I am still right most of the time, but I appreciate their old head wisdom.

• Today:

  • I am always seeking mum and dad's advice. After moving out, I miss them and try to spend as much time together as possible. I miss family Sundays!

Friends

• 5 Years ago:

  • My group of high school friends were all I would ever need.

• 2 Years ago:

  • I realised there is a whole world of possible friends out there and spent most of my time with a totally new group of friends.

• Today:

  • I am beginning to understand the importance of strong friendships and surrounding yourself with like-minded people.

Health

• 5 Years ago:

  • Cross country was life.

• 2 Years ago:

  • Gym is life. Gym every day. No chest no sex.

• Today:

  • I believe being healthy is way of life and exercise should come from activities you enjoy. I am currently getting most of my exercise from surfing and running - activities I enjoy.

Career

• 5 Years ago:

  • I knew more than enough to leave school and enter the real world already.

• 2 Years ago:

  • Aspiring Actuary or Data Scientist.

• Today:

  • I have realised I do not want to be a traditional Actuary or Data Scientist; and am trying to figure out what’s next.

Girls

• 5 Years ago:

  • Me and my high school girlfriend were total soulmates who would be married in no time.

• 2 Years Ago:

  • I was chasing girls like it was a game because I thought, like Juice said, ‘all girls are the same’ (jk jk).

• Today:

  • I have found one very special lady that I am working hard to build a strong relationship with.

Extras

• 5 Years ago:

  • Reading was an absolute waste of time and for nerds.

• 2 Years ago:

  • Still would never catch me with a book in hand.

• Today:

  • I read religiously and have found a passion for reading and learning from the wisdom of people before me.

Talk about Naïve. I honestly cringe at most of the stuff I used to say back then, even a year or two ago, but that is how it should be. If it wasn’t, that would mean I’m not growing. I completely expect this to be vastly different in a few years, in fact I aim for it be; because I am sure I am completely wrong about many things right now (not crypto though please).

In summary, remember that 'The only true wisdom, is knowing you know nothing' - Socrates

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