About Time

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my weekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something year old summiting the mountain of life.

Today: About Time

For the last year, my buddy Elliott has been telling me, repeatedly, to watch the movie About Time.

"All-time favourite movie" he'd say.

Then I would proceed to look it up, see rom-com and think "Nope, not today. What a softie that Elliott is". But finally, a vulnerable Sunday came around, the scaries were in full effect, and I gave it a shot. Wow. Kudos to Elliott.

Today I want to share my takeaways from this movie. I will start by saying that I was completely caught off guard. I was expecting The Notebook but instead got something that pushed me to think harder than when watching Interstellar. Not about the laws of special relativity, but about the fleeting beauty of life.

SPOILER ALERT

When Tim (main character) turns 21, his father reveals a family secret that the men can travel back in time. Like any 21-year-old would, Tim immediately starts to use his power to better 'rizz' the ladies. If he didn't perform well, he'd go back in time, again and again, until he mastered the art. However, as he matures, he develops the habit of repeating every day twice.

First time around, he lives his life like most people. Wakes up, stumbles out of bed, rushes out of the house, gets frustrated with the morning traffic, sits through a handful of boring meetings, goes home, eats then sleeps. A pretty average day.

Then, the second time around, he does all the same things but with a different goal: to embrace the day for what it is, to see the beauty in the mundane, to focus on the moments that make life better, to see the good. He wakes up, jumps out of bed, spends time making breakfast for his kids, admires them, cracks jokes at work, enjoys a dinner with his family and makes love to his wife. He has a great day.

His positive attitude is infectious and, in my opinion, how we should all aspire to live everyday. The movie clearly shows the reality, that you can live the exact same day in totally different ways, either seeing the best in people and situations, or the worst. The events are going to happen regardless but how we respond is up to us. So why not chose to embrace each day and what it holds? To wear the rose-tinted glasses instead of the shit-stained pair? Seems pretty obvious to me...

As the stoics say, events themselves are neutral, it's our judgements and interpretations that attach emotions to them. We have control of these judgements and interpretations, so why not have a positive bias?

Towards the end of the movie, Tim has mastered the act of truly living in the present, appreciating the small things and enjoying every day. He then reaches his final revelation – that he only needs to live each day once, because really, there is no need to go through the average day first...

I sat on that thought for a long time.

My conclusion: we don't need a time machine to maximise our time on earth. Sounds backwards I know, but what Tim has shown us is that there is no need to go back if we truly embrace each day. But that begs the question, what does it mean to embrace each day? Or to live in present?

They are tricky questions that people have been trying to answer for thousands of years, and luckily for us, they have written about it. One of my favourite quotes from The Daily Stoic is to 'See the world like a poet and an artist', stemming from a passage in Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. He suggests that we should take the time to see the beauty in everything around us, especially the mundane. It can be difficult to do at first, but after making this a goal of mine for the last few weeks, I catch myself admiring the most random things, like the perfect stitching in my jeans, the unique cool shape of a tree, or even the architecture of city skyscrapers. Like how crazy is it that us little humans can build skyscrapers, don't you think?

I am sure there are hundreds of practical things we can all implement, but if you're not sure where to start, just look around you right now. What catches your eye? How do you think it got there? How was it made? Can you see some beauty in it? It sounds cringe, and even feels cringe at first but damn it feels good afterwhile. Try it at least 10 times and you’ll see what I mean. It all about perspective.

In summary, I think the message of the movie, About Time, to embrace each day, is both beautiful and profound; everyone should take some time to not only watch it, but reflect on it.

Further thoughts:

Like in the movie, there is going to be a time in your life when someone close to you, like your parents, will die. And all you will want to do is go back in time and be with them again. Back to a time like right now. So shit, make the most of it. Tell them you love them and give them a hug like you mean it - because you do.

Final thoughts:

While I was watching this movie, I got a message from my mum telling me that one of my childhood friend's mum had passed away from cancer. I was lost for words, mortified. I can hardly imagine what they are going through and how incredibly difficult it would be to lose a mother. At this point, more than ever, the movie's message struck a chord with me. Tragedies do happen and will happen to me and you. So again, go hug your loved ones, spend quality time with them and cherish what you have right now, the present.

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