T.H.U.R.S. #18

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my biweekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood.

My mission is to question everything, grow every day and have fun along the way. The Summit’s mission is to invite you to do the same.

Today: T.H.U.R.S. #18

Thoughts:

• Something light:

I had the pleasure of chatting with an incredibly interesting lady last week - Jen. After telling me about her epic jet-setting lifestyle as a pilot, I asked how she got there. I was expecting her to tell me how she’d always dreamed of becoming a pilot and went straight into aviation out of school. But nope…

She was a backpacker, a river-raft guide, a scuba diving guide, a snowboarding instructor and pack-rafting guide all before she even considered aviation… it was almost as if she had lived 10 wildly unique lives all in one (I haven’t even mentioned the crazy quests she conquered outside of work).

As I dug deeper into how and why she did all of these things her answer was simple:

“I just figured out how to get paid to do the things I loved” and “went with the flow”.

And that was her advice to me, her younger self and anyone else out there - find what you love doing and figure out how to get paid doing it!

I was inspired by so much of what she shared. Feel free to check out the full chairlift chat here:

gabes_chairlift_chats

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• Something heavy:

(Yes, I am still reading Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade; and yes, this is another one of my top takeaways!)

While it may seem obvious, Jay explains how most of us youngin’s don’t consider the significance of our relationships enough. She explains that when you decide to marry:

“With one decision, you choose your partner in all adult things. Money, work lifestyle, family, health, leisure, retirement, and even death become a three-legged race. Almost every aspect of your life will be intertwined… and if things don’t work out, a marriage can’t just be left off a resume like a failed job… you may be forever tied, financially and logistically.”

In light of this, she introduces two key points/pieces of advice:

1. Don’t waste time dating if both parties don’t see a future.

Recent studies have revealed an emerging trend of 20 something’s ‘dating down’ - that is dating with little intent, primarily for convenience, comfort, sex or even out of fear of a break-up.

She explains how people will often let years slip away ‘dating down’ in their twenties because they think they have all the time in the world…

2. Don’t think you have all the time in the world… date with intent.

Jay explains a common misconception that it is better to marry later. Although many people believe it is best to date around before ‘settling down’, research shows no correlation between average age of marriage and divorce rate (above 23 years old). Her point here is that many people don’t treat dating seriously enough because of the misconception that we have all the time in the world.

To date with intent, Jay suggests a multitude of strategies, but in a nutshell, I think the gist is to put yourself out there and know what traits/values you’re looking for (there is much more to unpack here).

Highlights:

My favourite thing I learnt this week: Identity capital.

Still coming from Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade, one of my favourite things I learnt about is what Jay calls ‘Identity Capital’ - the collection of skills, experiences, and relationships that individuals accumulate over time.

“These are the investments we make in ourselves, the things we do well enough or long enough, that they become a part of who we are. Some identity capital goes on a resume, such as degrees, jobs, test scores etc. Other identity capital is more personal, such as how we speak, where we are from, how we solve problems, how we look.”

In summary, identity capital is what we bring to the adult marketplace.

When navigating employment in your twenties, Jay suggests that it is all about maximising and developing your identity capital. When faced with a decision, you should always ask yourself, which will increase my identity capital the most (a fancy way of saying what will allow me to grow the most)?

For example, taking the intern role at a company you would love to work for over the better paying serving job at a local restaurant.

It is not always as straight forward as that ^ but I really enjoyed reading this chapter because it made me think about how I can continue to build my identity capital while travelling this next year…

What are you doing to build your identity capital?

Uplift:

Something uplifting that I want to share: Chairlift Chats Summary Week 2 😎 !

gabes_chairlift_chats

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This has been so much fun! I can’t wait for week 3!

Reflect:

M favourite Q and A from the week:

❓️What has been your favourite experience in your life so far?

💁‍♂️”After working 17 years, I decided to take a couple years off and travel through South America with my wife and kids… it created an incredible bond between me and my kids, and it’s been great for my marriage” - Cory

I found it so inspiring, eye opening, and fitting that this man’s favourite life experience was with the closest people in his life, challenging the norm and exploring somewhere new… NOTED!

Summit:

A challenge I set myself: Ski Touring!

This week’s challenge was pretty epic 😎. To one up last week’s challenge (learning to ski), I set out on my first back country ski-touring adventure! I was lucky enough to find a wonderful set of second-hand ski touring gear on marketplace and I was on my way:

8kms and nearly 800m of gain later, we were able to get some lovely fresh turns in untouched powder 😍. We loved it so much, we did it all again two days later. Here are a couple piccys:

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