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T.H.U.R.S. #16
Social Media Comparisons, Inner Dialogue, Chairlift Chats!
Gabriel Mira
November 21, 2024
Hola and welcome to The Summit, my biweekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood.
My mission is to question everything, grow every day and have fun along the way. The Summit’s mission is to invite you to do the same.
Today: T.H.U.R.S. #16
Thoughts:
Something light:
If you’re not changing it, you’re choosing it.
I think this is my new favourite quote…
Whether it is a job you don’t love, a bad habit you never seem to break, or a relationship that just isn’t quite right for you, if you’re not changing it, you’re choosing it.
It kind of reminds me of golden handcuffs. It can be so easy to get in situations that aren’t quite right for us, yet we still say. It could be an amazing salary (at a job we hate), it could be the ‘fun’ of friends (in a group we don’t resonate with), or the comfort of a relationship (that isn’t quite right).
Why don’t we leave?
Fear.
It can be incredibly scary to break free from golden handcuffs, especially when we grow too dependent and comfortable. Similar to the video I shared a couple weeks back, it is almost inevitably going to get worse before it gets better - change is scary:
But sometimes it is the best action we can take. Although the activation energy is significant (for my chem nerds out there), the potential reaction can be game changing.
So next time you’re weighing up a change, remind yourself, if you’re not changing it, you’re choosing it.
Something heavy:
If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.
Lately I have been loving Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade and pulled this quote from a chapter about social media… I am sure you can see where this is going.
The classic dilemma of comparing our worst selves to someone else’s best self (their Facebook, Instagram etc). We are all guilty of this!
And the reason I brought this up is because last week, I coincidentally had a couple friends reply to some of my Instagram posts saying things like:
“Wow my life is so boring”
“Your posts make me so jealous”
“I wish”
Now I know these were all light-hearted messages, but it made me realise how guilty I am of glorifying my lifestyle living abroad. Yes, I have a lot of fun, but it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows out here! I still have things I am dealing with and am making huge sacrifices working for minimum wage in a ski town!
Let this thought serve as a reminder that social media only shows half the picture… if that!
Highlights:
My favourite thing I learnt this week: controlling your inner dialogue.
I have to give credit to mum for this one, because this is something she has hounded me with for as long as I can remember.
👩 “Never say always. Never say never. Because that is not the case. The words you say, shape your perspective.”
Where did this come from? I believe it was something like:
🙎♂️ “Mum, Bella (my little sister) is always mean!”
🙍♂️ “Mum, Dani (other little sister) never shares!”
My whines were always met with:
👩 “Don’t say that, because it’s not true. She might not be sharing now, but it is untrue and unfair to say that she never shares”.
Yes these examples sound childish and silly, but it very quickly turned into:
🙍♂️ “I will never be able to work a 9-5”
🙍♂️ ”Work is always boring”
🙍♂️ ”My degree was a waste”
Although the whining continued, the advice stayed the same:
👩 ”Change your dialogue because that is simply not true”
👩 ”Yes, it doesn’t work for you right now but there are probably many 9-5 jobs out there that you may love one day. You might want the stability in the future!”
👩 ”Nothing is ever a waste. You’ve accumulated a mountain of knowledge that can be applied in many fields of work”
Yeah, my mum is pretty wise sometimes 😎.
Although those example were a little exaggerated, they aren’t far off. Feelings and fleeting thoughts are not permanent and should not be worded as if they are!
Your words shape your view of the world, so why not shape your words as a glass half-full kinda guy/gal. Control your inner dialogue!
Uplift:
Something uplifting that I stumbled across and want to share: my first chairlift chat!
Reflect:
A question I asked myself this week:
❓️Am I really putting in 100% effort into my goals right now?
💁♂️ Nope… I could definitely do more.
The last thing I want to do is look back and think I could’ve given more!
Summit:
A challenge I set myself: asking randoms if I can interview them!
These last couple weeks have been super exciting for me as I have started my new quest to interview 100 people on the slopes this winter!
Like I mention in the intro video ^, I honestly believe that we all have wisdom to share; I’m super excited to see what I can learn from others and what I can do with this page.
I have posted two interviews so far… 98 to go! Feel free to follow along :)
Oh, and as far as challenges go, I also did my avalanche safety training this week (AST1) and went ski touring for the first time! What I learnt: the backcountry is no joke and avalanches are terrifying. Here are a couple of piccys:
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As always, if you have any feedback, you can respond to this email! I’d love to hear what you think :)
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