Sparking Deeper Conversations

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my biweekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood.

My mission is to question everything, grow every day and have fun along the way. The Summit’s mission is to invite you to do the same.

Tuesday Deep Dive: Sparking Deeper Conversations

About six months ago, one of my friends gave me a call. He said:

“Yo, I have this idea. We should round up some of our mates and organise a weekly meeting, where we chat all things business.”

Where did this come from? The gym 😅. This particular friend and I had met at the squat rack of all places (probably because I was always asking if he was nearly finished - his talk/set ratio can be off at times!).

But as we got to know each other at the gym, we noticed that most of our chats tended to revolve around our latest wild business ideas that we were sure would make millions (still waiting).

Fast forward to our phone call and I thought why not, maybe having these chats outside of the gym might go somewhere. Within a couple weeks, we each rounded up a few of our friends and organised out first ‘meeting’.

Agenda:

• Get to know each other.

• Share our short and long-term goals.

• Share and chat about interesting ideas/book recommendations/thoughts we each have.

The pilot was a great success! Everyone got on really well and the meetings kept on coming. But then, something interesting happened. Once everyone was fairly comfortable, we noticed that many of our chats started revolving around… our feelings!?

Picture a room full of six 20-year-old gym bros talking about their feelings 🤣. Seriously, one of the guys looks like the rock. Ever seen the rock talk about his feelings? It comes across a little awkward at first 😅!

Fast forward another six months (to today) and we are all heaps closer, super open with each other and doing bigger and better things every day. Whether that is building stronger and healthier habits or pursuing entrepreneurial ventures and passion projects like The Summit 😉. We tend to copy the best parts of each other!

So, where am I getting at with this fluffy story about my awesome friends… the benefits of sparking deeper conversations.

When I think of this story and these friends, all we are doing is airing our intrusive thoughts that most people keep to themselves. Imagine if every group of friends opened up to each other like this!

Why does it have to be so awkward and taboo to bring up emotions and new ideas? It’s a toxic trait that many of us have, especially in a group setting, that brings everyone down. Maybe it comes back to Australia’s tall poppy syndrome?

Regardless, here are my thoughts on how you can spark deeper conversations among your friends and family!

Fun ‘taboo’ topics:

• Business/entrepreneurial ideas

• Philosophical/religious ideas

• Self-development

• Emotions

• Politics

• Existential questions

• Relationships

Things to remember:

• Have an open mind!

  • This means genuinely listening and trying to understand other people’s perspective.

• Be honest.

  • Open up and be raw, put yourself out there. This will be mirrored by all parties involved and lead to better and deeper convos.

• It will be uncomfortable.

  • The first few times you open up deeper discussions, you might feel uncomfortable, that’s normal, push through!

• Control yourself - don’t get heated!

  • The only way these conversations work is if each party stays calm and respectful! The moment someone gets too heated, the conversation will not move anywhere positive.

Think about your friends:

• Everyone knows the utmost importance of having good friends. People you can lean on, trust and have a great time with. But don’t forget the importance of having friends that share your ambition and will genuinely support you.

• You will be surprised at how many of your friends would enjoy having these deeper conversations. 

• Look at your friends, are they helping you move in the right direction? Are you helping them? Can this be changed for the better? (Not saying drop your friends but remember that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with).

Final Point: don’t forget the power of useless conversations.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that every conversation you have with friends and family needs to be deep and meaningful. Useless conversations, like arguing whether Lebron is the goat (100%), gossiping about the Kardashians, or deciding who would win a death match: you or a wolf (me), are still important and necessary to keep you sane, balanced and having fun! If you want to hear more on this point, particularly the difference between Real and Deal Friends, have a listen to this podcast a friend of mine recommended to me (around the 27-minute mark):

If you enjoyed this article, please feel free to share it with a friend who might also enjoy it; and if you’re the friend, feel free to subscribe here 🙃!

_{As always, if you have any feedback, you can respond to this email! I’d love to hear what you think :)}