FOMO to JOMO

Hola and welcome to The Summit, my weekly newsletter where I share my unfiltered thoughts on navigating the peaks and valleys of adulthood. From health and relationships to productivity and purpose, consider this newsletter a collection of naive wisdom from a 20-something year old summiting the mountain of life.

Today: FOMO to JOMO

A few weeks ago, I nearly did something pretty stupid. It was five days after my first marathon when I decided it would be a good idea to buy a last-minute ticket for another marathon the next day! To some (me and my friends), I know it would’ve been pretty badass, but the reality was, I could barely walk from the week before, let alone run…

I was just about on my way to pick up the ticket when my mum told me that I was being an idiot (or something along those lines) and just giving in to my FOMO. To which my immediate response was obviously, “No, you don’t understand, stay hard!”

But, like usual, she was right 🙄.

After her comment I took some time to think about why I actually wanted to do the marathon. As much as I told myself that it was to push my limits, stay hard, or impress my mates, it was actually because I was not happy with my time the previous weekend and had FOMO on an opportunity to redeem myself (without considering that injured state of my body/knee 😑). So, I made the responsible/lame decision to give it a miss.

But it did get me thinking about FOMO. What is it? Why do we feel it? How does it impact us? How do we avoid it? To answer all of these questions, I set myself a little research assignment and wrote this article:

We've all been there. Scrolling through social media, bombarded with perfectly curated feeds of friends on awesome holidays, smashing workouts, or even at music festivals (Yes, I am referencing missing out on Fisher's Coolangatta beach party). A shot of envy surges through you. "Maybe I should be doing that," you think. "Damn, I’m missing out." Enter the monster under the bed of our generation: FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. 

FOMO is that constant low-grade anxiety that creeps in when you feel like everyone else is having a better time than you. It's fuelled by the never-ending stream of social media updates, carefully crafted to showcase the highlight reels of other people's lives. But here's the thing: social media isn't reality. It's a carefully constructed façade and comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel is a recipe for misery. 

The Psychology of FOMO 

So why do we get so wrapped up in FOMO? A little research shows that it boils down to a few key factors: 

• Social Connection: Humans are wired for connection. Seeing others together can trigger a primal fear of being excluded. 

• Self-Esteem: Social media feeds often showcase achievements and successes. Constantly bombarded by these comparisons can chip away at our self-esteem and make us feel like we're not measuring up. 

• The Grass is Always Greener: Our brains have a negativity bias. We tend to focus on what we lack rather than appreciating what we have. Social media feeds amplify this by showcasing the "best of" of other people's lives. 

The Downside of FOMO 

FOMO isn't just a harmless shot of envy. It can have a real negative impact on our lives: 

• Decision Paralysis: Constantly fearing you're missing out on the "better" option can lead to decision paralysis. You become afraid to commit to anything for fear of missing out on something potentially more exciting. 

• Reduced Enjoyment: FOMO can rob you of the joy of the present moment. You're so busy worrying about what you're missing that you can't appreciate the experiences you're actually having. 

• Anxiety and Depression: The constant pressure to keep up with your feed can lead to anxiety and depression. 

Breaking Free from FOMO 

So, how do we break free from the clutches of FOMO and live a life that's less "comparison trap" and more "genuine happiness?" Here are a few suggestions: 

• Curate Your Feed: Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or constantly trigger your FOMO. Instead, fill your feed with people who inspire you, motivate you, or make you laugh.

• Practice Gratitude: Take some time each day to reflect on the things you're grateful for in your own life (I suggest doing this as a part of a nightly journalling routine). A roof over your head, good health, supportive friends – these are all things to be thankful for, even if they don't make for a brag-worthy Instagram post. 

• Focus on Your Values: What's truly important to you? Travel? Spending time with loved ones? Learning a new skill? Focus on aligning your activities with your values, not chasing someone else's idea of a good time. 

• Embrace JOMO: JOMO stands for the Joy Of Missing Out. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is say no to things that don't align with your goals or interests. Give yourself permission to prioritise your well-being and enjoy some quality downtime. Maybe it's just me but how good is saying no to a night out, putting on some trackies and watching a movie at home?

• Live in the Moment: Put down your phone and be present in the moment. Savour conversations with friends, the beauty of nature, the simple pleasures of life. You'll be surprised at how much richer your experiences become when you're not constantly plugged in. 

Final Thoughts:

FOMO is REAL, but it doesn't have to control your life. By being mindful of your social media consumption, practicing gratitude, and focusing on what truly matters to you, you can break free from the comparison trap and start embracing some JOMO.

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